Why does promoting your art feel so icky?

So I wanted to post a couple of stories on my insta today, just something simple, a quick update on my paintings…. and yet it felt so uncomfortable to do and took me about 12 attempts until I finally felt relatively happy with the videos. But why is this? Why does it feel so awkward, so cringe, to talk about my art? You’d think I’d want to shout out as soon as I have any new art work to talk about, eagerly anticipating the likes and comments! But I don’t, I hate it, I have to force myself to post anything about my work… but why is that?

It got me thinking, is it just me? am I overthinking it? Could it be something I’ve learnt growing up? Or is it a cultural thing?… Well, I don’t think I’ll know for sure but I’d hazard a guess it’s probably a bit of all three.

I think as brits we don’t like it when people brag or boast, we call them big headed or make sarcastic comments like…. oooh it’s alright for some! (in my broadest Yorkshire accent). Especially growing up with a working class background you were always taught to be modest, gloating was not ok. If you had something to gloat about it would probably raise suspicion!… I remember so clearly as a child showing off my new Nike air max trainers to my friend and her first comment was “where’d you nick them from?”… Just to clarify, they were not stolen…. ha ha ha, but this comment always stuck with me. Why do people assume the worst?

So maybe this is linked to it, maybe I feel in some way that promoting my art is boastful, or suspicious, especially if I mention recent sales success or good feedback. It feels like I’m screaming “LOOK AT ME I’M AMAZING!!”… Obviously thats not what I’m saying but why not? Why can’t I say that. Why does it feel so cringe to tell people how proud I am of myself and what I have done?…

I am overthinking it though aren’t I?… because I know that after I’ve stressed and rewritten a post like 10 times, no-one will think twice about it! I’ve tried hard this past year to show my face more on socials… thats a whole new level of anxiety, but I have to keep reminding myself that no-one really cares! And those that do, care for the right reasons, they listen and they read because they are interested in what I’m saying and promoting. I just need to remember that. Hopefully it will get easier over time and in some cases it already has. I’ve no problem videoing myself with zero makeup in my painted overalls. That would have been an absolute no go last year so at least I’m making some progress.

I don’t think the icky feeling will ever go away completely, but I’m hopeful that the niggling thoughts in the back of my head will get smaller every time I post… fingers crossed!

Thanks for reading my rambles.

that’s it for now, stay strange

Cally

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